Healing the "Scars" of Life

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." ~ Kahlil Gibran

"The most massive characters are seared with scars", Kahlil Gibran wrote. What, exactly, is a scar? The dictionary states a scar is: "1 a mark left on the skin or within body tissue where a wound, burn, or sore has not healed quite completely and fibrous connective tissue has developed"

But the dictionary also provides a figurative alternative: "a lasting effect of grief, fear, or other emotion left on a person's character by a traumatic experience"

It is an unavoidable fact of Life that each and every one of us will experience or has experienced one or more traumatic events at some point or another. And for some of us the word "trauma" is absolutely no stranger within our existence.

Some of us were born into trauma, like the infant who suffers from shaken baby syndrome, or the child with cigarette burns marring her tender skin, or the toddler with the greenstick fracture of his femur. Others have merely been "in the wrong place at the wrong time", so to speak, like the people in Indonesia when the 2006 day after Christmas tsunami struck, or the families who lost everything in the wake of Katrina. No matter what the trauma, or where or whom it strikes, none of us can avoid a traumatic event over the course of an entire lifetime. It is all in how we, as individuals, deal with the traumas of Life that is important.

The inevitable traumas of Life can teach us how to handle a traumatic event with ease and grace. We can choose to learn from each situation, or we can choose to avoid the residual emotions at all costs via denial. No situation presented in our lives comes without choices. 


There are always  choices: a choice in how we handle the situation, a choice in whether or not we forgive, a choice in whether or not we forget and move forward. At times, a person finds him or herself in a situation in which he or she proclaims: "I have no choice!" Those four words are perhaps four of the most self-limiting words in the Universe! There is always a choice in any given situation.

Today, I choose to see all the options open to me in every situation. I pray for Divine guidance in choosing the appropriate actions, words, and thoughts. I choose to live my Life feeling happy, joyous, and free. I choose to share unconditional love, serenity, laughs, and kindness. I choose to be the wonderful, amazing, beautiful woman God created me to be. I choose to remember that it is none of my business who thinks negatively about me, because how one thinks about me has absolutely no impact on who I am. 


The only person who has an impact on who I am is ME. I define my Self, and the Truth about who I am is within my Soul, and within the Mind of God. As someone so eloquently in history stated (I think it was the philosopher Rene Descartes): "I think, therefore, I am."

Namaste, my friends ~

Becoming Aware of Our Thoughts ...

Not many people can truly say that they enjoy being around others who persistently have negative attitudes towards Life, or towards others. It's draining for me to be around people who judge me constantly ~ whether out loud or psychicly ~ or people who simply cannot recognize the good in others. Many of us consistently tolerate the idle negative chatter in own minds, as well. We're used to the "voice" in our own head that dictates our course of action. 


This voice is often self-limiting, self-deprecating, and self-doubting. Only when we become aware of this negative voice, can we begin to change its detrimental messages. Thoughts follow a succinct pattern: our thoughts create words, and ultimately, those words become our actions. For example, if I allow my internal voice to consistently tell me that I am a failure, I eventually do create my own failures.

While first exploring the avenue of becoming aware of my own thought patterns some twenty years ago, I constantly caught my mind telling me that I was a loser, that I would never amount to anything, that I did not deserve love and true happiness, and so on. I have continued to work at catching ~ and changing ~ the negative thought patterns that attempt to wreak havoc in my head, and ultimately in my Life. 


I am wise enough to know that the process of re-creating my Self is just that: A process. It is not an event. Change comes slowly, but when working on oneself, the changes are definitely assured. The changes are felt internally at first, and eventually those people in our lives who truly love and accept us for who we are, become aware of the healthy changes we are making in our lives, usually letting us know what they observe.

Many people, upon paying careful attention to their thinking patterns, are surprised at the negativity they find there. But when we take notice of our involuntary thoughts in a nonjudgmental way, we initiate a healing process that will eventually allow us to replace intimidating and upsetting self-talk with positive, empowering thoughts.


While the occasional downbeat or judgmental thought may have little impact on our contentment, the ongoing negativity that passes unnoticed can have a dampening and damaging effect on our moods and our behaviors. When we are aware of the tone of our thoughts, however, we can begin to challenge those negative attitudes and thoughts, and replace them with positive and empowering thoughts and attitudes. Sometimes it takes an objective person, such as a therapist, to assist us in our self-exploration. This is a good thing: seeking help is NOT a sign of weakness, on the contrary, it is a definitive sign of courage!

The awareness we cultivate within ourselves will eventually enable us to create a foundation of positivity from which we can build a more authentic existence. A more authentic Self. The first counsel written over the gateway to the temple at Delphi was: "Know Thyself" That counsel was not advising us to know our pretentious Self, but our true and authentic Self. I take heart in the fact that only we, human beings, have the power of choice. Only we have the ability to change our outlooks, our thoughts, words and actions. I am empowered in knowing that only I can direct the course of my Life. And only I can allow my Self to be happy, joyous, and free ~ even in the face of adversity and negativity.

Namasté, my friends ...